It would be crazy to imagine someone who has absolutely no insecurities. We all have them. Whether you admit or not....
What drives me absolutely nuts is when we play these little games with each other. You bump into someone on the street and he/she says, "Hey, how are you? How's everything?" You then reply, "Oh everything is going great!" But inside your thinking of (the fight you had earlier with your husband/wife, the secret addiction you are struggling with, the feelings of failure, constant cycle of sin you can't seem to break, depression, anger, and the list goes on..) So we build up this "layer of protection" around our heart, which then leads to insecurities, bitterness, etc...
It happens in churches too. We step in the building to see all the "shiny happy people holding hands." Someone comes up and asks how things are. "Oh just dandy, Praise the Lord!", we reply. Meanwhile our family could be falling apart at home, personal life sucks, and I could go on.
So life goes on, we put our heart in a cage, only to lock it up and throw away the key. We keep telling people how "great" things are, when things could be going really shitty..
If God loves us unconditionally, despite how messed up we are, then why don't we do it with each other, realizing that we are ALL messed up? When will we stop playing these stupid games with each other?
Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that we all just only talk about what sucks in life, that we all just get together and bitch about how much life sucks. If we were to be completely honest, we would talk about the good and the bad. There are beautiful things to rejoice in life. There are also times that suck when the only thing that will help us get through is brutal honesty. And to still be loved and accepted without condescension.
So if life is going great, be thankful and share it with someone.
And if things completely suck, be completeley honest. How about this the next time you bump into someone:
"How are things going?"
"Actually things suck right now. I feel like a failure and that my life is falling apart."
"Really, wow, me too, let's go get some coffee..."
Maybe over coffee you'll find the key to the cage you locked your heart in. Then you can open it up to come out and enjoy the day...
13 comments:
this is why meeting up with friends is much much better than going to cell group.
Gordon,
I just ordered a book called Shame Off You. It looks great. I'm trying to plan for a series on Grace sometime soon. while looking for this book I ran across a book entitles "Buck-Naked Faith". Hmmmmm
D
here's the problem with your call to transparency with the heart: 99.99999999999% of the Body is incapable of handling the honesty.
I have been increasingly transparent with people in my local fellowship for months now, to the tune of:
"maybe you're not giving this totally over to the Lord", "don't let this what you're going through destroy you", "do you feel like you are broken before the Lord?"
That last one set me off. What the h do you think?!?!?!?
If I wasn't broken, I'd be talking all religious and sh*t: "oh, I'm fine, bless God, how are you?"
The fact that I am broken is why I'm being transparent.
People can't handle the honesty and the language of someone going through a living hell and yet clinging to Jesus at the same time.
The Body (in America, at least) in general is shallow and doesn't welcome transparency.
Being transparent makes most "Followers" uncomfortable. Be raw and unrefined in your transparency and you'll be welcomed by Jesus and shunned with gaping jaws by the Church.
things are perfect over here,,,how about you buddy?
johnny boy
"99.99999999999% of the Body is incapable of handling the honesty."
Hey, nice comment. The true essence of the Gospel is that Jesus died for sinners. Yeah, we recite it over and over, and we even "witness" to non-believers about it. But do we REALLY believe this? If we remember and really ponder that He loves SINNERS, then we wouldn't be so shocked at someone being brutally honest about their pain, and with our own sins as well. Steve Brown says this great quote that, "It's impossible to truly love someone unless you understand that your capable of committing the same sins as they do."
Ahhhh.... Grace, it's a beautiful thing!
"things are perfect over here,,,how about you buddy?
johnny boy"
Wise ass!
Just because you can play the bongos, doesn't give you the right to be a smart ass!!!
where is this going, elite one? what do you really want, as lucy says to chuck, to that effect at least. isn't it enough that God's allowed you a space to occupy in this virtual world, where you could unleash your wild musings? what's up with this hackneyed, christian line, "why can't we just be real?" isn't it that you become as honest as you can possibly be to the people you learn to trust, anyway. this is not something forced, it's a relational thing that only time and the chemistry between the involved can and do eventually define. and who is "real" to the true sence of the word anyway? even we fess up to God about the muck in our hearts that we don't share to even our most trusted families or friends. the people to whom you can presently be real to, God brought in your life at this time. it's idealistic to consider that there would ever be some type of an "honesty" awakening among the people that fill up the churches.
8:49 AM
just drink your coffee and continue to talk with people as you do, honesty just happens in time, and never to the extent you're asking for, or we're as truthful as Jesus and he's a liar.
9:03 AM
John three thirty,
I hear you! I've experienced the same type comments many times before. One thing that has helped me deal with those type comments and the mouths they come is Grace. I try to believe that those people really do intend well as stupid as they sound.
" just ordered a book called Shame Off You. It looks great. I'm trying to plan for a series on Grace sometime soon. while looking for this book I ran across a book entitles "Buck-Naked Faith". Hmmmmm
D "
Hey Dylan! Good to hear from you. "Buck Naked Faith", would that be the sequel to "Fully Clothed Faith"?
=)
amicatonic said:
"it's idealistic to consider that there would ever be some type of an "honesty" awakening among the people that fill up the churches."
What a great comment, cause it pricked my thinking.
I think the call for honesty stems from the hollowness we've experienced (are experiencing) with superficiality. And not only b/c it's shallow, but how it maligns the Way.
But you've got a very good point, that honesty generally only occurs where a stable/rooted bond of trust exists.
So how does this all blend together, cause like you say: are we expecting that 'corporate' gatherings be filled with gut-wrenching honesty among larger numbers of people?
Doesn't seem too realistic, in American culture anyway.
Which bids the question, is there any other way but that large gatherings be impersonal?
But wait! The evolution of small groups started back in the 80's, and here comes this great movement where people meet in smaller gatherings and can have that honesty w/ a smaller group of folks they trust!
The ratty possibility is small groups can be just smaller versions of corporate church, which could mean the same artificiality among smaller numbers.
Some groups do have the transparency. Unfortunately I can vouch for my most recent small group that was surface-level, PMA bullshit. What should they really call this, TGIF groups? (Thank God I'm Fake). heh heh, ouch. heh heh, ouch.
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