Caged up heart...

It would be crazy to imagine someone who has absolutely no insecurities. We all have them. Whether you admit or not....

What drives me absolutely nuts is when we play these little games with each other. You bump into someone on the street and he/she says, "Hey, how are you? How's everything?" You then reply, "Oh everything is going great!" But inside your thinking of (the fight you had earlier with your husband/wife, the secret addiction you are struggling with, the feelings of failure, constant cycle of sin you can't seem to break, depression, anger, and the list goes on..) So we build up this "layer of protection" around our heart, which then leads to insecurities, bitterness, etc...

It happens in churches too. We step in the building to see all the "shiny happy people holding hands." Someone comes up and asks how things are. "Oh just dandy, Praise the Lord!", we reply. Meanwhile our family could be falling apart at home, personal life sucks, and I could go on.

So life goes on, we put our heart in a cage, only to lock it up and throw away the key. We keep telling people how "great" things are, when things could be going really shitty..

If God loves us unconditionally, despite how messed up we are, then why don't we do it with each other, realizing that we are ALL messed up? When will we stop playing these stupid games with each other?

Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that we all just only talk about what sucks in life, that we all just get together and bitch about how much life sucks. If we were to be completely honest, we would talk about the good and the bad. There are beautiful things to rejoice in life. There are also times that suck when the only thing that will help us get through is brutal honesty. And to still be loved and accepted without condescension.

So if life is going great, be thankful and share it with someone.

And if things completely suck, be completeley honest. How about this the next time you bump into someone:

"How are things going?"
"Actually things suck right now. I feel like a failure and that my life is falling apart."
"Really, wow, me too, let's go get some coffee..."

Maybe over coffee you'll find the key to the cage you locked your heart in. Then you can open it up to come out and enjoy the day...

If I was on South Park, I would look like...

The Future Embrace (a review)

I was excited to get my copy of "The Future Embrace" by Billy Corgan. Being that I love the Smashing Pumpkins, and have always been intrigued by Billy Corgan, I expected to hear a great CD. And I wasn't let down.

Please note, this is not a Smashing Pumpkins album, so don't go into it expecting to hear the Pumpkins' sound. This is Billy Corgan's first solo album, after Smashing Pumpkins, and his other band Zwan. One thing you can expect to hear is Billy's trademark voice.

Where do I start? This album is a musical masterpiece. A great work of art, musically "painted" by one of the most creative people in the industry. From the beginning to end, you are taken in by songs that have elements of electronic, techno, alternative, and new wave sounds throughout the album. Having said that, the songs are not bombarded with so much background noise, that you can't take in the song. But there's enough background sounds to keep you hooked.

Throughout the album, there's thought provoking lyrics that deal with brokenness, life, love, and some that even make you think of God. I was reminded of God's presence in my life while listening to the track "A100", especially when Billy sang "You are love, you are soul, you are real to me. Some might say my love devours you whole, some might say that life is my love.."

I read an interview with him about this album, and he said that this is the one album where he went into it not caring if it fits with what's popular now, or what people's opinions would be. He just went in and did his thing. And it's a good thing he did. If only more musicians nowadays would apply that same principle, and just dove in their work not caring what is popular, or what sells the fastest albums, we'd have better quality music out there. I have a lot of respect for Billy Corgan doing his album this way, and other artists out there who aren't putting out musical garbage, but who stimulate our minds...

Today's wise quote is sponsored by..... SEAL!

"We're never gonna survive, unless... We get a little crazy"

Personally, I've never been one to go along with what is the "norm". I'm the black sheep of my family. I don't like to do what every one else is doing. I can't stand wearing something just because it's the latest fad. I love thinking "out of the box". I have a very wide selection of musical tastes, not just one specific style. I could go on....

Have you ever been at a dance or any type of party where a song you love came on, and you just wanted to go on the floor and dance? And I mean DANCE! But you held yourself back because you were afraid of what others thought..

Have you ever heard a great song in the car and just cranked it up and screamed along to it? (For me lately, that song is Mute Math's "Chaos")

Have you ever felt so strongly about something, but held your opinion because you didn't want to "stir waters" or be labelled as the "outcast" in a group?

I know if I didn't get a little crazy once in a while, I don't know how I'd survive...

Gray's Papaya (Heaven's hot dog)

I think in heaven, there's gonna be a Gray's Papaya hot dog place. (If you're from New York, you know what I mean..)




I sometimes wonder if it was a Gray's Papaya hot dog that Adam and Eve bit into at the Garden of Eden.

If you've been to New York and haven't eaten one, plan a trip back here just to try one.

My favorite one is in the Village on 6th Ave. Where you can buy your hot dog, and eat it while strolling through Washington Square Park, which is just a block away. And then while munching on your hot dog in the park, you get offered to buy a bag of weed by the rastas! You never know what to expect.

New York, a great place to visit...

Rich in mercy

Ephesians 2
But because of his great love for us, God, who is RICH IN MERCY, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.


Definition of "RICH" from the Webster's Dictionary:
Main Entry: rich
Pronunciation: 'rich
Function: adjective
1 : having abundant possessions and especially material wealth
2 a : having high value or quality b : well supplied
3 : magnificently impressive : SUMPTUOUS
4 a : vivid and deep in color b : full and mellow in tone and quality c : having a strong fragrance
5 : highly productive or remunerative
6 a : having abundant plant nutrients b : highly seasoned, fatty, oily, or sweet c : high in the combustible component d : high in some component
7 a : ENTERTAINING; also : LAUGHABLE b : MEANINGFUL, SIGNIFICANT c : LUSH
8 : pure or nearly pure

Definition of "MERCY" from the Webster's Dictionary:
Main Entry: mercy
Pronunciation: 'm&r-sE
Function: nounInflected Form(s): plural mercies
1 a : compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one's power; also : lenient or compassionate treatment b : imprisonment rather than death imposed as penalty for first-degree murder
2 a : a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion b : a fortunate circumstance
3 : compassionate treatment of those in distress


I don't know about you, but that gives me great relief.